Hee, hee, hoo...
No good. I'm not budging an inch.
Tenko, you won't get anywhere with that method.
You gotta strike while the iron's hot!
Wasn't this your idea—
Jyubei's Request: Watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!!
A-Amazing.
You took them all out in the blink of an eye.
I don't believe it.
Your efforts have put all the men to shame.
Yes.
Ayao-dono, Tsukuo-dono.
It's all thanks to you.
If you want to thank someone, thank this guy for inviting the Hyakka
to a ninja course.
Seriously. Who knows what might've happened had we not come here.
This must be a star of fate at work.
When a hero shines most brightly, his radiance attracts other heroes to his side.
We owe it all to you, Cao Cao.
We're underground, Kagura-chan.
Instead of relying on those idiots, we girls should've—
Wow!
Way to go, boys!
We actually would've loved to help out,
but we had to act feminine, right, Goriko?
That's right.
In true feminine style, we figured we should stand aside and cheer you on.
Right, Ginko?
But really, you've all become so awesome.
I-I couldn't believe my eyes.
Especially those two ninjas. Aren't their specs too high?
I prefer the hunk with the ponytail.
Who are you calling a hunk?
I prefer the porktail.
It'd be delicious barbecued.
Nobody was talking about barbecue.
It's too late to notice my charms, Ginko-san.
No, I never said anything of the sort.
Now that our genders have been swapped,
I frankly feel no attraction to you at all.
Why has Sakata Gintoki, of all people, been degraded to a useless sow?
Why have you accepted that appearance?
Man or woman, you were never that kind of person.
You would look much better
in this, I'm sure!
Hurry up and change!
You pig!
In the end, you're still as deviant as ever!
It'd look amazing on you now!
Please!
I'll pay you 30,000 extra!
I'm not a prostitute!
Hey!
It might be the same old routine,
but it looks so much more perverse now that she's a man!
Do you mean 30,000 in reinforcements?!
Good. Bring out the dosh.
No, it's not good!
Stop that, Sarutobi.
No matter how much of a man she may be inside and out, she's still a woman.
Flowers have no inherent beauty or ugliness.
It only exists in the eye of the male beholder that cannot admire both equally.
What's with this guy?
How'd an innocent girl turn into such a playboy?
No need to worry, Ginko.
Protecting women is the Hyakka's job.
Relax and leave yourself in my care.
I know of a job where you earn a lot more just by having a bath with customers.
I'm telling you, I'm not a prostitute!
He's like some evil pimp! A scary scout from the city!
Do you mean a s**pland?
Good. Bring out the dosh.
I told you, it's not good at all!
What? Pork?
Bring out the Tosh.
Shut it, morons!
It looks like your new genders suit you much better.
Maybe things would be better this way.
Don't say that! It's terrifying!
Well, do you really think you could
outdo these high-spec men if you went back to normal?
Are you saying that even though you were useless,
you'll shamelessly go back to living life as deadbeat men
thanks to their efforts?
If that's the case,
it'd be better if you stayed as women and let Tsukuo-san take care of you.
By working in Yoshiwara, you'd contribute much more to society than as men.
Leave it to me.
What the hell do you people think women are?!
Yeah! Are our bodies all you're after?!
Who contributes what doesn't mean jack!
What matters is that we get our bodies back, no matter what!
Found anything yet?!
There's gotta be a vaccine or something to turn our bodies back to normal!
Sorry, Vice Chief. There doesn't seem to be anything like that here.
That's not all.
I don't see the archbishop anywhere.
What's that supposed to mean?
Don't tell me this wasn't their base—
No. That is definitely our Earth Dekobokkoist base.
Y-You're—
However, attacking the base will not necessarily solve all your problems.
Unfortunately for you, what you're looking for has long since left that planet.
That said, we did observe everything you people have been doing
through your sword, Kyubei-san.
My sword?
A bug?
No way!
I told you that God is always watching you, didn't I?
Damn you!
What are you after?!
God has chosen you.
Like us, you are neither man nor woman...
An unsullied being worthy of being God's apostle.
Yagyu Kyubei,
God has been watching you, and he wishes to entrust you
with this planet's fate.
During this trial, he has seen some of you being manlier than anyone else,
and others being nothing more than useless bitches.
Kyubei-san, you have splendidly upheld the teachings of Lord Dekobokko
and overcome his trial.
In light of your devotion, we...
No, God shall keep his promise.
What are you trying to pull?!
Yagyu Kyubei,
you are most suited to being Lord Dekobokko's apostle.
From now on, you must guide the people of Earth
and correct this planet's erratic gender roles!
Target is showing a high energy response!
No way!
Are they gonna fire the virus cannon again?!
Shoot it down!
Stop the satellite before it fires the virus!
Yes.
With that gender you attained for yourself.
Hey, look at this!
My body's back!
It's true!
We're back to normal!
The town has gone back to normal...
...except for those of us who were underground.
What the hell is this? Are you kidding me?!
Why are we still like this when we're the ones who overcame the trial?!
I show Lord Dekobokko a little respect, and he lets it go to his head!
Want me to kill you, bastard?!
Just kidding! She didn't mean that!
Fire the virus one more time!
Please! Just one more shot!
Attention, everyone in the Kabuki District.
The attack satellite which was aimed at Earth
has been safely destroyed.
Martial law will now be lifted.
I repeat:
Despite sensing everyone freezing up behind me,
I found myself unable to turn around.
My heart was wavering even as I was fighting alongside them.
"Should I really go back to normal?"
"Wouldn't I be happier living as a man?"
Almost like those selfish feelings of mine were apparent...
If you truly desire it,
I can change this world for you.
...the archbishop left behind the world that was most convenient for me.
P-Point and match!
That was too tame.
How can you call yourself a Yagyu-style,
no, a man?!
Come at me all at once! Try taking a point off of Yagyu Jyubei!
That coldhearted swordsmanship...
Kyubei seems like an entirely different person.
Uh, Koshinori-sama, the young master really has become a different person.
That speed...
It's like she's swinging two swords.
Uh, Binbokusai-sama, there really is an extra sword swinging from her crotch now.
I don't really understand, but it looks like Kyubei's
grasped the secrets of the Yagyu style at long last, Papa.
Indeed. The Yagyu style's future is secure now.
Uh, there'll never be any security as long as the two of you are around.
The wheels of the world continued to turn as though nothing had ever happened.
Get a load of that hunk!
Actually, they were turning much smoother than before.
Hey, mister.
Would you like to hang out with us?
S-Sorry. I have plans.
Jyubei-san!
Sorry I'm late.
Did you wait long?
Nah, I just got here.
Oh, that's a relief.
Aw, he has a girlfriend?
A couple with a hot guy and hot girl is just unfair.
Sorry! They misunderstood because of me.
No, it's fine.
Yeah, much smoother than when I was a woman.
Shinpachi-kun went to train with another dojo?
Yeah.
He said it was high time he got serious about trying to revive our own dojo,
so he wanted to build up some strength before that.
Oh, Shinpachi-kun said that?
Indeed.
Before, his attention was divided among Odd Jobs and the dojo,
but now he's focusing on being an instructor,
and he really looks the part while teaching.
I'm sure he wanted to be part of the Odd Jobs trio for longer,
but after what happened to Ginko-san, Kagura-chan and Sekitobaharu left, too.
I serve only Cao Cao.
If we are fated to meet again, then we shall.
Fare thee well!
I see. Ginko-san hasn't returned yet?
So Odd Jobs has disappeared from Edo.
Sheesh. Where in the world has she run off to?
Who goes on a soul-searching trip at that age?
Sorry to keep you waiting, Otae.
Goriko!
Sorry, work was so hectic, I had some trouble getting away.
Was it okay to leave?
Yeah, don't worry about it.
Even the police need to take breaks every now and then.
I see.
I'm glad to hear work's going well, Goriko.
Look who's talking.
You've got it much better.
Though, I never expected us to be suited to that line of work.
Hey, guys!
You'd better stop by or you'll be placed under arrest.
You're the ones who need to be arrested!
Miniskirt police, my foot. You're miniskirt pork, if anything.
Want me to show you how a real cop does things?
I could destroy the reputation of scum like you without breaking a sweat!
Why is that the only part of the act that seems convincing?
Calm down, Tenko!
You've got a customer!
Looks like we've got a bunch of hard-hitting girls here.
Not that I mind.
Tenko-chan's right up my alley.
Well, it's kinda turned into a fuglies club,
but Tenko's doing great, and she's got a bunch of regular customers.
What's more...
Oh, it's a courtesan parade!
W-Wait...
That's Lady Soko from Club Sadist!
Soko split off from us and teamed up with the deviant advisor.
What are you doing, Soko?
Stomp on me harder!
Shut up, maggot.
She's now the number one courtesan in the Kabuki District.
Yoshiwara's Hinowa-san praised her, saying nobody else could earn so much
without letting anyone even touch their hand.
I was right.
Hinowa,
there may soon be a courtesan in the Kabuki District who surpasses you.
As the first step of our expansion into the Kabuki District,
it's been a great success.
It's not just here.
The moon will rise every night over every neighborhood in Edo.
I, Tsukuo, the new Lord of the Night,
shall illuminate nights everywhere with radiance like none other.
It may not be long before the Lord of the Night takes control of Edo's nightlife.
I see.
All said and done, everyone's doing all right for themselves.
It's all my fault things ended up this way,
so I was worried.
Listen to yourself.
You're a victim yourself, Jyubei.
Besides, I personally think it was a great opportunity.
I'd been living my life without caring about masculinity or femininity,
but when I took a long, hard look at myself from a gender-swapped perspective,
I found, uh, a new side of me?
New possibilities?
Something of the sort.
Like, the side of me that's happy about being with Otae as a friend,
and not a stalker or a lover.
Stuff like that.
Goriko...
Jeez, don't say such embarrassing things!
Guess you're still making me your punching bag, though.
At any rate,
it doesn't matter whether we're men or women.
We're just gonna live as we please either way.
So you guys should stop worrying about us,
and do as you please, too.
Goriko, what are these?
Between Man and Woman
Tickets to the latest hit movie.
They weren't easy to get my hands on.
What else could I do?
Now that I've ended up like this,
you're the only one left who can make Otae happy.
But let me just make this crystal clear:
if you make Otae, my friend, cry,
I'll arrest you.
Between Man and Woman
This was the world I wished for.
Everything was just as I'd wanted it,
and yet I knew that this gloominess was not caused by the weather alone.
I knew that the ticket I got wasn't wet because of the rain alone.
Hey, samurai.
Would you like your fortune told?
Sorry, but I'm done with fortunes.
Try someone else.
You have decided whether to live as a man or as a woman, I take it?
So why the long face?
You don't look like someone about to go on a date.
I don't know who you are,
but I'm neither a man nor a woman.
I sowed the seeds of calamity
and got everyone caught up in it.
Yet I had accepted that I was simply pretending to give up
for the sake of my own desires.
Still, everyone's looking out for me, totally unaware of my true colors.
Don't make her cry?
Weren't you the one crying?
I'm neither manly nor womanly,
just cowardly scum.
That was the answer I got after racking my brain,
so there's no need to tell my fortune anymore.
You may not necessarily get the same answer this time.
This may lead you down a path of even more anguish,
but I have another ticket right here.
Space Travel Ticket Earth => XAMA
Unfortunately, it's not something you can use on a date.
It's a ticket to the planet the Dekobokkoists will target next.
Yagyu Jyubei-san, let me ask you once again.
Will you choose that ticket and live on as a man?
Or will you choose this one and go back to being a woman?
Wh-What are you—
No matter what you choose,
I'm sure you will continue to waver.
But what's wrong with that?
Manly? Womanly?
Are those random values that others made up
really what you were striving toward?
If things were so clear cut,
then neither men, women,
you,
or me
would be leading such painful lives.
We're all in the same boat, Jyubei.
You're not the only one who's lost.
I don't get all the complicated stuff,
but I do know it's not like us to take this lying down.
Wh-What was that light?
What is this?!
Men have turned into women and vice versa!
Chrislings...
The race that throws gender roles into chaos.
May you bear the brunt of that sin!
Uh, Archbishop,
all the men and women on this planet are Chris,
so in the end they're still Chris Matsumura...
The satellite might have been destroyed on Earth,
but we won't stop.
With this new weapon, we shall propagate Lord Dekobokko's
teachings to the ends of the universe.
Quickly, take control of the city while they panic.
What's going on?
Archbishop, a few of the residents are fighting back!
Ridiculous.
In the midst of the gender swapping chaos,
I refuse to believe someone could
calmly analyze the situation and strike back at us in an instant.
You'd better believe it.
Because it doesn't matter to them whether they're men or women.
They don't care about living in a masculine or feminine manner,
only in a manner that's true to themselves.
Y-You're...
Tae-chan,
I'm sorry.
I'm no Jyubei.
Neither a woman nor a man, I am...
I am...
Ten minus one is...
Yagyu Kyubei!
Miss.
You seem to be coming here every day.
Are you waiting for someone?
Oh, no.
I was simply taking shelter from the rain.
But I'm glad.
It seems the rain has let up.
Um, I'd like to make an advanced booking.
Between Man and Woman
Not for a romantic movie like that...
...but one you can have a good laugh at with friends!
Preview
Have you gotten used to temple school, Seita?
Remember to take your lunch today, too.
All Mothers Pack Too Much Food Into a Lunch Box and Ruin the Shape
Next Episode: "All Mothers Pack Too Much Food Into a Lunch Box and Ruin the Shape."
You're gonna be late.
Preview
Off you go!
Following Tsukuyo and Gintoki's history lessons,
Seita begins to attend a temple school.
And will we have a new OP and ED next episode? (Still working on it.)
Will he be able to make a hundred friends?